Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Am I Crazy? -- don't answer that

Ironman 2.4 mile swim 112 mile bike 26.2 mile run. What am I or the rest of the crazy triathletes thinking? Have I gone mad?!? It’s like the magnitude of this race has been reverberating in my head for the last few weeks. It’s crazy and it’s different now.

When I signed up for my first ironman race I must have been living in a world of rainbows. And I think I was; there’s no other possible explanation. People would ask me, “Are you really going to do an ironman?!” “Yes, I am!” and now I have, but that’s beside the point right now. I was living in a rainbow world with flowers and fairies and beautiful sunshine every day. Nothing fazed me, not even the thought of 140.6 miles in one day! Most people will never swim 2.4 miles in a day. Many people will never ride 100+ miles on a bike in one day, but quite a few people will do a marathon run in one day. But what sane person would do all this together, in 1 day, in 1 race, in 1 fierce attempt to gain the highly coveted title “Ironman”…only a crazy person.

I now live among crazy people. In San Diego, it seems everyone has done an ironman or 10 and if they haven’t done one, their brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, mom, dad, best friend, co-worker…you name it. Everyone knows someone that has completed an ironman and many know people who have qualified for the world championship in Kona. Everywhere, there are crazy people.

So last time, in my rainbow world, I don’t think I fully grasped or understood the magnitude of my undertaking to complete my first Ironman. I just did it! I didn’t think too much about it. What was the big deal? It’s a long way, but you have ALL day to do it; the required times are very manageable for the everyday athlete who has done some minimum training. You can average almost 1 minute to swim the length of a pool and still finish in the cut-off time for the swim. You can hold 14.4 mph (I think that’s right) for the bike. And get off and walk at a 17-17.5 min pace for the “run”. These paces are not the least bit daunting to me. One stroke then another. One rotation, then another. One step, then another…and wahoo! 17 hours later, you’re done. No big deal. Right? …not in the rainbow world.

And so it was. My first race came and went. People told me I was crazy before the race, they were in ahh after the race, but it’s like I didn’t really get it.

This time, it will be Ironman race #2. And this year, it’s still almost 5 months away and I’m freaking out! “Oh my!!!! What was I thinking?!? Can I really do this?” It’s like there’s all this pressure this time. There shouldn’t be any. It wouldn’t take much for me to just improve my time and that would be enough to say the race is a success. That should be enough anyway, but for some reason, the second time around is harder. I want revenge for all my shortcomings last time. I’m on a mission to not just improve, but to make a showing.

I now understand the magnitude of training I “should” be doing. The time, the hours, the distances, the goal pace…and the more you know, the harder the race becomes. I’m now not so sure about this race. I have my up and down days. Sometimes I think I’m going to pull out; I’m not up for the challenge. Other days I’m ready to take up the challenge and storm the race. When a ride is going well, I have no doubts, but on those hard days when I gaze at the side of the road and long for rest or I look ahead at the hill and the tears start to roll it’s hard to convince yourself you’re not crazy, that you haven’t bitten off more than you can chew.